Monday, 14 April 2014

Happy 27 Birthday Air Max

So the Nike Air Max is older than me. But unlike me, they get better with age.

Happy birthday you beautiful, colourful, bold, trainer, you. Happy bloody birthday.

Here are some cool pictures of these legendary trainers. The crazier, the better - in my opinion.

Image from Instagram user: garbuwka

Image from Instagram user: airmaxalways

Happy 27 Birthday Air Max

Thursday, 10 April 2014

Shopping want: Moschino knuckle dusters

ROAR I am here and I have gold on my knuckles.

These mega beauties have been created in collaboration with London's V&A Museum to celebrate its Glamour of Italian Fashion exhibition.

I would kill for these. And at £295, I might have to.

It's my birthday soon.
Just sayin'

Shopping want: Moschino knuckle dusters

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

What's the best chocolate bar?

...You can't ask me that
No I really couldn't even begin to..
..Don't make me
This is like the worst question anyone's ever asked me"

...Is basically how I felt when I saw this illustration on this week.

But if I was suspended above a pool of ill-tempered, mutated, sea bass and FORCED to answer this terrible, evil conundrum, then I might go with:

  1. Lion Bar
  2. Peanut Butter Cup
  3. Turkish Delight
  4. Wispa Gold
  5. Twix-Twirl-CremeEgg-Boost-KitKatChunky-Flake-Caramel-Aero?
I just don't know.

Image by David Wildish. Buy the print here.
What's the best chocolate bar?

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Why I won't watch mainstream porn any more...

"Woah woah woah, Madison. C'mon. No porn? Ever?!"

OK, not exactly. Don't freak out. Jeez.

But I was watching porn the other night (SHUT UP WE ALL DO IT), and suffered a bit of a revelation. When I watch sex, I want to see ... sex. Real sex. But I seem to find less and less of that online nowadays. Instead, I spend aaaages trawling through websites, trying to find something that works for me. And none of it does.

I guess, my brain and clit finally had enough of all the fake shit. So I started to deviate from the task at hand, and began pondering one of life's true mysteries. Who really wants to watch bukakke and cream pies and cum shots? Because it certainly ain't me.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone's preference is the same. In fact, it's none of my damn business what you're into. But it becomes my business (and now I'm speaking on behalf of Womankind), when porn starts to impact on real-world-sex.

Mainstream porn is never, ever, about true female pleasure. And that's because, essentially, it was created by men, for men. We're living in a right-here-right-now society, and our porn is the same. They've managed to cut out all the build-up, the romance, the mystery, and magic of sex.

We're launched into this horrid world of terrible music, cum-guzzling whores, and monster cocks. Where it's normal to spit on your loved one's penis; to be primed and gagging for sex within 10 seconds of seeing a dick; where foreplay involves a strange and evidently unpleasurable pokey-rigid-tongue manoeuvre, where women moan 'yeah' over and over whilst being pumped-up from behind like a bloody life-raft; where women are never brought to real orgasm by their men.

Watching that is the ultimate turn-off. I feel sorry for the women on-screen because it's fake, humiliating, painful, and uncomfortable - so far from true pleasure it's not even funny.

I don't want to watch ridiculous sex caricatures. I want to watch something real. Our bodies and our sensations are enough - sex is basic, and primal and wonderful - we don't need to add all that other shit.

So I've started an anonymous tumblr, full of sexy and sensual photos & GIFs. Essentially, I've curated my very own bespoke porn site. And no, I won't tell you what it's called - because it's just for me.

What do you reckon? Agree. Disagree... Think I'm totally off the mark?
Why I won't watch mainstream porn any more...

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

shopping: topshop knitted jumpers

I love my new vintage-inspired, ribbed (giggles), knit jumpers from Topshop.

I've become quite strict with my spending (hence lack of shopping posts and more sex posts), and I usually write lists of things I need because I'm a boring bloody grown-up now. But when I saw these jumpers I fell in sartorial love. And as they say, if it's nice, buy it TWICE.

They're cropped so I wear them with cute patterned skater skirts, statement jewellery, or with a shirt underneath. ERMAGERD THEY HAVE IT IN PINK TOO.

Above: JUMPER SELFIES (c'mon guys let's make this a thing)
Below: oh look, me in a silly hat with an even SILLIER necklace

shopping: topshop knitted jumpers