Thursday, 20 December 2012

end of the world: get it while you can

You may or may not know that it's the end of the world tomorrow.

Yes, according to the ancient Mayan calendar, tomorrow (21 December 2012) is the day that the world will burst into flames, destroying us and all of our sins.

So you should probably grab the next person you see and fuck them... Let's go out with a bang. 

If you need reminding on how it's done, watch the latest viral from Diesel, below. You're going to die tomorrow anyway so you might as well.

It's brilliant. It's obscene. You've been warned..

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Interview with a panty fetishist

So what is it that turns you on about panties?

I guess it's the barrier. The idea that beneath the material lies a beautiful pussy and ass... But it's up to me to make the wearer feel comfortable and horny enough to peel them off.

I guess a naughty part of me also enjoys the thought of her having to wear her soaked panties afterwards. The reminder of her climax pressed against her pussy. It's a secret only we know about, as we return to wherever we've snuck off from - be it a dinner party or a night out with our friends..

Do different types of knickers turn you on?

Yes, the diversity of styles and fabrics is a big turn on.. A pair of thin cotton panties might show the outline of her lips. A pair of lacy french knickers might hug her ass. A sheer pair of knickers might be see-through enough to show her pubic hair or ass crack.

What are your favorite pair of knickers and why? Is there a colour / material / style?

For me, there's nothing sexier than a simple pair of white cotton panties. There's something so virginal and pure about them and they feel so soft. It turns me on so much when a girl's wearing such innocent panties when she's with me - particularly when a dark damp patch seeps into the material and becomes almost see-through as she gets more and more wet. I love pulling them down her thighs and feeling the weight of her excitement soaked into the crotch as I discard them.

Does it turn you off if a girl's wearing really ugly granny pants?

I dont think granny panties are ugly but baggy pants are not flattering!

What is it exactly that you like to do with knickers? Is it a girl wearing them, before, during, after sex?

This is going to get graphic! But I love kissing and stroking the outline of the knickers, occasionally dipping inside them to stroke her pussy or ass. I love running my fingers over her crotch, outlining her lips as I feel them swell beneath the material. I love using the soft material to rub against her clit, pushing her lips apart and rubbing against the sensitive bud. I love tasting her through her knickers, sucking her excitement through the material. I love stroking the length of my shaft against the soft material, either stroking between her thighs from tip to base or rubbing the underside of my shaft against her ass crack separated only by thin material.

I've found that my girlfriend and I have both orgasmed from what is essentially dry humping!! The fricton and pressure and intensity of it.

But I like the drama of ripping panties off a girl. Or pulling them roughly to one side if we're somewhere we shouldn't be. A couple of times I've squeezed the sodden panties over her ass crack as she lies on her front after sex, watching her shiver with excitement as she feels her own warm cum trickle down between her thighs... And that's before I even lean down and collect it with my tongue!

Would you ever be turned on by wearing panties? Or is that not part of the fetish?

For me it isn't but I get why some people like it. The taboo, the soft material, the closeness to the fabric where a girl's pussy and ass have been...

How long have you been turned on by panties, and where do you think it came from?

I guess it came from enjoying using my fingers and tongue before I first had sex. I found it exciting to watch her reaction as she came in her panties.

What was your first experience exploring this fetish?

Good question. I think it was an early relationship when I was maybe 15. Sex wasn't an option and I found that I got a real physical pleasure from giving orgasms. I guess this made me explore how much pleasure I got from making her come in her panties so and I found we both got so turned on by it.

Is there anything you'd like to do with panties that you haven't already done yet?

I'd love to "make" a willing girl wear vibrating panties and be in control of the remote! Watching as she tried to keep control!

If you have any additional questions for our panty fetishist, then post a comment!

Saturday, 3 November 2012

#WIWTwaxoff at Ministry of Waxing

Last week, I was invited by Poppy and WIWT to visit Covent Garden's Ministry of Waxing. I was going to be one of the first people in the UK to try their new Gingerbread Wax!

But I was nervous. Waxing can be painful, so I usually always go to the same beautician, the same salon, and have the same treatment. It's been that way for the last 8 years.

Until now..

The salon...

It is so different to my usual salon, which is very traditional - full of faux flowers, soothing music, and product posters. The Ministry of Waxing can only be described with one word - cool. It's underground, with exposed brickwork and funky lighting fixtures. They play awesome tunes, and the beauty therapists are all hot.

But it probably helped that we were greeted with champagne and completely delicious gingerbread cookies...

My beautician...

I had an amazing beautician called Chloe. She honed her skills at the first ever Ministry of Waxing in Singapore, and now trains up all the other beauticians at the London store. She literally knew everything about waxing, from follicles to cell regeneration. I was in very good hands.


It's clearly a priority. I had to use a hygiene wipe before, Chloe wore latex gloves, a (slightly creepy) face mask, and she never double-dipped the wooden spatula into the molten wax.

The Gingerbread Wax...

The Gingerbread Wax is warm, smells yummy, and it hardens on your skin (which feels amazing, in fact). It's then quickly stretched once, then whipped off. A cooling antiseptic pad is placed immediately on top to soothe and close the pores, minimising in-grown hairs.

The pain...

What pain?! I'm fucking serious. I'm not one of those girls that brags about how painless waxing is (Poppy!) - I wholeheartedly admit that usually, it can bloody well sting. But I am still astounded at how virtually pain-free the Ministry of Waxing experience was.

I didn't even squeeze the pain monkey once:


And here we are - the WIWT gang, all freshly-waxed, and super amazed at the virtually pain-free experience.

We each got a great personalised goody bag, full of Ministry of Waxing delights, gingerbread cookies, and beautiful satin knickers.

Then we headed over to Circus, where we had a table booked and a few bottles of Champagne (natch), courtesy of WIWT and the Ministry of Waxing. 

We had an amazing time, I met some lovely ladies, and Ministry of Waxing - you'll be seeing me again very soon!

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Sudocrem - the wondercream

Apologies if you already knew this, but sudocrem is AMAZING.

There's a tub of it in our house, which has been left unused for years (and I mean years). But when someone called it a blemish wonder cream, I thought I'd give it a go.

And holy crap, IT WORKS!!

I'm quite skin-lucky, but when I do get spots (once a month, if you know what I mean..), then I get them with a vengeance.

They're like dormant volcanoes under my skin: "Her immune system is down, let's burst out of her pores - gigantic, furious, red, and full of puss - YEAAAH"

So the other night, I had one of these - a lurking spot.. Ginormous under the skin, sore and tender, waiting to manifest itself into a full-blown, red, bulbous, volcano.

I sudocremed it (yeah, that's totally a verb), and here are the results:

Day 1:

It's gone! OK, not quite - but I'm completely astounded by the results.

It's no longer red, sore, painful, or threatening to my social life.

Day 2:

OK, it really has disappeared! There are no visual signs of a spot, but I can feel a teeny little lump underneath the skin.

Day 3:

It's completely clear. when I'm run down/ill/surfing the crimson wave, those spots are evil. They can literally take weeks to calm down, let alone disappear.

Until I discovered this wonder ointment.

I'm going to try bathing in it next.

Have you tried Sudocrem yet? Isn't it amazing? Am I just telling you what you already knew?!

Monday, 15 October 2012

Review: Kate Spade nail appliques

Polka dots are always in fashion. So I was so thrilled that Kate Spade in Westfield sent me these gorgeous dotty nail appliques to try!

They're so kitsch, cute, but a little bit sexy - can you spot the cheeky spade hidden in the design? 

But most importantly, they're very easy to apply. I'm a huge advocate of nail wraps/appliques, the designs are always awesome, and I cannot be arsed to wait around for my nails to dry - no matter how long I wait, they ALWAYS seem to smudge or wrinkle from a rogue finger print.

So how do you apply these bad boys?

You'll need: small scissors, a rough nail file, a "hoof" tool, and a hair dryer!
Simple, simple steps: 

1: Find a wrap that fits your nail, or cut one to size (cut them on the cardboard - it's much easier)

2: Heat the glue underside gently with the hair dryer - this will make the wrap stickier and more malleable.

3: Carefully apply the warm wrap to your nail, using the hoof tool to secure the edges.

4: That's it!

To remove, just wait weeks and weeks (like I do), until they become torn at the edges and you have to rip them off.

But if you actually care about the general well-being of your nails, then just lightly heat the wraps with the hair dryer and peel off, gently and slowly. Or, some bloggers say you can remove them with nail polish remover, although I've never tried that.

Cute, huh?!

Saturday, 6 October 2012

cosmo blog awards 2012

Yay for the Cosmo Blog Awards!

I didn't win *cries*, but there were more than 35,000 ENTRIES this year, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU so much for your nomination and votes! It was so amazing to be a part of the whole experience - and there's always next year! ;-)

I didn't actually end up taking that many photos because I was too busy drinking cocktails, dancing to DJ IQ, and having an all round amazing fucking time. 

Here's what I wore:

Custom-made tux - only £55 from my holiday to Hong Kong! (photo by @LAW1SFAB)

                         ......being ridiculous.....                               ....a spot of dry humping from Nat...

              ......pussy & lip shenanigans with Nat....                          .....posing with Lauraaa......  

                 .........getting ma lashes did..........                                    ...........with ma falsies.......

.....TOTAL fitties, Zoe (London Lipgloss) and Laura (That's so Yesterday).....

......Zo, Jen (Little Bird) , and the MaĆ®tre d.....

...pouts with Lauren and Kelly (AKA my Sex & Relationships rivals) from Hitched & Ditched....

Thanks again to the Cosmo team, to all the people who nominated/voted for my wee lil blog, and well done to all the winners! You can see the full winners and 'highly commended' blog list here.

If you were there too, please comment with your blog links and event write-ups - I wanna read!

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

the ASOS penis blouse

I've got some questionable items in my wardrobe.

But this is taking the 'pearl necklace' to a whole new level.

But if you don't have enough penises around your neck, then buy yours here.

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Review: Bibido


I wish I'd thought of the concept - it's bloody brilliant.

Wanna know why? It's a subscription which delivers pleasure and fantasy every single month - like a Glossy Box for your sex life. A mystery box full of delightfully sexy, but incredibly luxurious, surprises - goodies to wear, touch, taste, and play with.

Gone are the days of cheap, plasticky, crap sex products and games from places like Ann Summers. Bibido offers inspiring, suggestive, luxury items to indulge with - solo or with your partner.

This month's subscription contained:
  • A set of beautifully crafted, heavy, metal die with saucy suggestions such as "below waist", "grind" and "you choose"
  • A delicious edible chocolate and citrus massage candle.  Its beautiful warm glow, divine scent, and delicious taste are perfect for erotic massage - setting the mood so you can get in the mood (see what I did there?!)
  • Sensual, understanding, and straight-forward directions for beginners
  • Tips, ideas, and a (very) short erotic story, all for inspiration

I think the subscription is fairly reasonable. Yes, it's £35 per month (including £2 for post & packaging), or you can get a 3 month gift pack. But this could be a really awesome/different present for a friend, or an exciting treat for you to enjoy for a whole month, before the next box of goodies arrives. And I seriously cannot stress how luxurious and expensive the products feel, smell, and taste.

I can't wait for my next box of saucy treats!

So...what do you think to Bibido?

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

the sex toy stigma

At a house party last weekend, the drunk addled conversation turned to dildos, vibrators, and sex toys.


I told the group how I'd bought my best friend her first ever vibrator. And a girl I didn't know blurted out: "but she's got a boyfriend".




Are vibrators suddenly a substitute for a penis?! For a boyfriend? Or does this mean that women who use them actively choose to be boyfriendless? Or struggle to find one?

I was baffled. But later, it dawned on me that perhaps this is where the stigma about sex toys began.

Most women care what people think of them. Maybe some worry that if they have a sex toy it might say something about them. Something bad. Something like:

"Hi, I don't have enough sex, so that's why I have a vibrator"

Oh how wrong.

Toys should be used to enhance your sex life, not stump it. I mean, how can we expect a guy to know how to please us, if we don't even know what works for us?

Toys can be a stress relief, a way to help you get to sleep - one of my toys even doubles up as a massager. You can use them as much or as little as you like. You can use them solo, or with a partner. My first long-term boyfriend even bought me my first Rabbit (and yes, Sam, I still have it)

So ladies, don't be scared of what a vibrator says about you. We should take courage, hold our toys high, and proclaim the truth!

I'll go first:

"Hi. I love sex and everything about it. THAT'S why I have a vibrator"

Now.. Your turn...

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Ten Green Bottles

Tonight I was invited to The Conran Shop to help celebrate their collaboration with Gordon's Gin.

The ten green Conran-designed bottles are inspired by the infamous nursery rhyme (although there was a slightly naughtier version making its way around my school..), and are truly beautiful.


The standard green bottles with Conran-designed labels are £14.99, but there are only 200 fabric covered bottles (above), and cost £420 (GULP) from Selfridges.

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Tube Crush #FAIL

Tube Crush, the seemingly harmless way to perv on sexy male Tube dwellers.

Picture it. A long and lonely tube journey on the Piccadilly Line. A hottie sits down. Bored, I wonder if... Yeah... I could Tube Crush him. Sure. Never done it before, but hey, I know how to turn the flash off my iPhone. I can take a sneaky photo of him. Send it to Tube Crush. Yeah. I'M GONNA DO IT.

So I did it:

And that was it. My debut Tube Crush, submitted without a hitch - Tube Crush even retweeted it and agreed with my choice (obviously, he's a *total* hottie).

But then a few days later, I receive this:

His colleagues had somehow stumbled across my Tube Crush submittal. They'd shown him. They'd laughed. They'd made the poor guy pose in the same position.


I cringed through the rest of my day. Sometimes pausing to joke with his colleagues over Twitter ("busted", "we sent it round the whole office"), sometimes to self-flagellate.

And although I, sadly, didn't receive a marriage proposal (I had planned to live tweet our wedding ceremony), it's a good story. In fact, it's quite possibly the ideal Twitter backfire example, but still, I do have to admire the platform's incredible ability to connect people*

*Until Tube Hottie's girlfriend decided to tweet me too with the hashtag #enoughaboutmyBFplease. What had begun as mega lulz had abruptly descended into mega awkwardness.

But don't worry folks, I shall continue to Tube Crush. You've been warned Tube Hotties.

Sunday, 2 September 2012

New wellies v SW4

Festival season, the wettest summer in recent history, and I didn't have any wellies..

But SpyLoveBuy to the rescue, and soon I had these bad boys, just in time for SW4 Festival.

When they arrived I actually prayed for rain. And thank fuck for the wellies, because it pissed it down. The below photo is when the sun was out for all of seven seconds.

Although these were sent to me by Lois, they're only £18.95 from SpyLoveBuy - blaaaddy BARGAIN!!