Monday, 14 May 2012

chat up lines

Chat up lines. We've all heard them. So I thought I'd compile my favourites - the good, the bad, and the just plain brilliant. If you've heard/delivered any gems, then comment below!

- You know, I ain't this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet.

- You remind me of my little toe - I just know I'm gonna bang you on every piece of my furniture.

- If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning.

- I’m a great shag…. ask that girl over there.

- You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

- Nice legs... What time do they open?


- Did you fart? Cos ya just blew me away.

- Do you have pet insurance?… well you’re gonna need it once I’ve smashed your pussy.

- Do you want to play army? I will lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

- F*ck me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Sylvester?

- I don’t know much about flowers but you can put your tulips around my cock.

- Do these look real? *squish boobs together*

- My magical watch says you aren't wearing any underwear! (Her: yes, I am) Oops, it must be an hour fast.

- I've had quite a bit to drink ... and you're beginning to look pretty good.


Thursday, 3 May 2012

animal testing - which companies do, which don't

In Britain, it's been illegal to test on animals for the cosmetics industry since 1998. AMAZING! Right?

Wrong.

Because our favourite cosmetics companies still test on animals elsewhere in the world, or use suppliers that do. There are more than 8,000 established cosmetics ingredients, so why are we still allowing animal testing to continue? It can be achieved without these methods (just look at thriving non-cruel companies such as Lush, Urban Decay, or Dr Hausheka).


So I've started to compile a (by no means, comprehensive) list of goodies and baddies. You'll be surprised (Body Shop is a suspect), and I hope that we all start to consider this a bit more before we purchase.

Cruelty-free companies:

Lush
Dr Hausheka
Faith in Nature
Urban Decay
Green People
Honesty Cosmetics
Kingfisher
Meadowsweet
Herbfarmacy
Neal's Yard Remedies
Urtekram
Yaoh
Jason
Hard Candy

Companies that use FCODs or the Five Year Rolling Rule:

An FCOD stands for Fixed Cut Off Date, which means the company will not use ingredients that have been tested on animals after a set date. The Five Year Rolling Rule is similar, and means the company will not use ingredients that have been tested on animals in the previous five years.

Barry M (FCOD of 1990)
Rituals (FCOD of 1998)
Bentley Organics (FCOD of 1990)
BM Beauty (FCOD of 1992)
Nurture (FCOD of 1995)
Beauty without Cruelty
Care for Life
Co-op (own brand)
Daniel Field
WeledaThe Body Shop
(The Body Shop is now owned by the L’Oreal corporate group. The Body Shop insists it maintains its independence, and its products are still approved by the BUAV's Humane Cosmetics Standard.)

Really Naughty List:

These are companies that test on animals themselves or pay researchers to carry out animal tests on their behalf - these tend to be parent companies, such as:

P&G
GlaxoSmithKline
Unilever
L’Oreal
Johnson & Johnson
PZ Cussons
Reckitt Benckiser
SC Johnson

Still Very Naughty List:

Then there are the cosmetics companies which don't test on animals, don't use FCODs, but continue to buy or use suppliers which do test on animals, such as:

Avon
Colgate
Clarins
Clinique
JeyesBeiersdorf
Lancome
Chanel
Christion Dior
Palmolive
Revlon
Estée Lauder
FCUK
Garnier
Yardley
Givenchy
Yves Saint Laurent
Tresemme

If you'd like to know more, then download a free Little Book Of Cruelty, here.

[Please note: Most of these facts and figures have been found on the Naturewatch website, or via their comprehensive 80 page Compassionate Shopping Guide. Also, be aware that most companies on the "Naughty Lists" will have extensive legal teams whose job it is to wriggle out of these uncomfortable questions - take their convoluted answers with heaps of salt. eg 'not tested on animals' might mean the product isn't, but the ingredients are]