Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Happy National Cleavage Day!

Wonderbra are the original cleavage creators so I’m giving away one of their AMAZING Ultimate Strapless bras. If you haven’t read the review, do it now, because it really is a great bra. It’s given me the boost I needed, and I’ve upped my game from Part-Timer to Confident Cleavager!

So, who’s the lucky winner of this brilliant, boob-boosting, bra of wonders? DRUM ROLL AND EXCITED FACES AT THE READY PLEASE:


She said: "I need this bra as I've had the same strapless bra for about 8 years now :S ... It's uncomfortable and falls down a lot, and really itchy. I'd love love love to win this so I can finally let that one go ... Move on to a more glam and well designed bra for my cleavage! xx"

Congrats! Sorry to everyone who didn't win - but I have more exciting competitions coming up soon :)

Monday, 25 March 2013

Review and Competition: Wonderbra's Ultimate Strapless Bra

It seems like there have been two strapless bra varieties for us less-endowed ladies: Strapped In (Mulan style) or Cone Boob (a la Madonna).

Until now! I've discovered an amazing strapless bra that will flatter all sizes: The Ultimate Strapless Bra from Wonderbra!

It's innovative:

What better device is there to cup your breasts than a pair of hands? The geniuses over at Vunderbra have incorporated this into the Ultimate bra and created the brilliant (and mildly pervy) "hand technology". It's basically boning that looks like hands - the hands hold your breasts lovingly yet firmly, giving wonderful support and cleavage. That's right people, I ACTUALLY GET CLEAVAGE WITH A STRAPLESS BRA, NO MAKEUP SHADING OR NOTHING. JOY!

It's stylish: 

I have the simple black version, which looks very sophisticated and sexy (DID I MENTION THE CLEAVAGE?!). It’s a smooth, moulded bra and can be worn without detection underneath even the tightest of outfits.

It's comfortable:

The bra has a thick/wide elastic band around your middle – so no unsightly bulges. Hurrah! It also has silicone bands on the inside to give you super firm support and no slippage.

It's affordable:

It's an amazing quality, super cleavage-giving wonder bra for only £34! You can also buy matching knickers (very important to coordinate your undies) or in lace varieties!

The competition part!

But why would you listen to me? I'm so convinced you'll LOVE this bra, that I'm giving you the chance to win one for yourself! All you have to do is:

  • Follow my blog (click the image below)
  • Comment to tell me why you need this bra! (and don't forget to include your email address so I can contact you if you win
The winner will be chosen at random, contacted via email, and announced on my blog on National Cleavage day, Wednesday 27 March!

Monday, 4 March 2013

Rape couture. NOT COOL.

I’m the first to laugh at slogan merchandise – I’m still desperate for a ‘Nobody knows I’m a lesbian’ tee (no really, where can I buy one) and I love anything branded with LOL, YOLO, TMI, WTF, or OMG. But when ‘Keep Calm and Rape’ t-shirts were being sold on Amazon last week I was outraged like the rest of you. 

What kind of sick f*ck would design this? Who signed it off? Is it supposed to be funny, offensive, deliberately provocative? Who thought this would be OK? What about the children, think of the children! 

But before you rally the mob and reach for your pitchfork, it’s all a big mistake. A big, stupid blunder. 

The t-shirt designs were created by an algorithm. That’s right, a computer programme. Not a designer, or a creative team, or even someone who thinks rape is something to joke about.

The retailer (a US company called Solid Gold Bomb) is huge and sells half a million products on Amazon and other sites. To meet demand they have a complex algorithm in place – it throws out designs and if you buy one, it gets made. Effectively, it doesn't cost anything to design, nothing to submit to Amazon, and nothing for them to host it. It’s cost-effective, and many businesses are run this way. 

The algorithm takes a template t-shirt (Keep Calm and...), auto-generates a verb from a list of thousands, and puts the design straight up on Amazon. 

After reading Michael Fowler’s (CEO of Solid Gold Bomb) heart-felt apology, you can see that it's a massive oversight. And it does make sense for a large organisation to use an algorithm to create products. But it's clearly not regulated closely enough - they're were also selling t-shirts with other horrendous, violent slogans, such as 'Grope on', 'Boil her', 'Drill her', 'Hit her'.

So, do you think Solid Gold Bomb should be penalised? Should they abandon this algorithm as a business model? Would you boycott them? Are you outraged?

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Review: Seen on Screen Fitness

If you're anything like me, when Single Ladies comes on in a club (and you're intoxicated) you believe that you really are Sasha Fierce. You flick your un-ringed finger in some poor sod's face, skank out in front of strangers, and fist-pump at the floor like a scorned woman possessed.

So, it's safe to say that I was unnecessarily excited to hear about the Seen on Screen fitness classes. You actually learn the best dance routines of our time. Think Rihanna. Think Beyonce. Think Britney, bitch.

I went to the Single Ladies dance class - there are two classes to learn the beginning and the end - and now I am BeyoncĂ©. Practically.

Is it easy?

The rountine is broken down, move by move, making it really easy to follow. It's a slightly simplified version of the dance, which helps (there's no way us mere mortals could keep up with the Queen of Fierce Dancing), but trust me, there's still plenty of junk popping and hurr whipping.

What are the instructors like?

Elliot and Bonnie were my instructors over the two sessions, and these guys really do make it. Their energy is infectious and they're clearly very passionate about what they do. They're also very approachable which means that you feel comfortable asking them to go over parts that you haven't quite got.

Is it expensive?

At £18 a session, it's not cheap, BUT you're being taught by the real-life celebrity back-up dancers - Elliot's performed onstage with Rihanna at the Brit Awards, and Bonnie with Pro Green (FIT) and Emili Sande at the MOBOs.

Not only are you having an awesome time, learning some ace moves to whip out on a Saturday night, you also have a really good workout. I can't believe that getting fit and toned could actually be fun.

There's also a Seen on Screen membership, which I'm signing up to. It's £50 a month and you can attend as many sessions as you like (it also includes their mid-week Jazz Funk classes).

So, I'll see you there soon, right? Next stop, Crazy in Love!