Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Beyoncé: sexiest album in WORLD

Everyone's freaking out over Beyoncé's surprise album.
Rightly so.

No plan. No promo. No warning. JUST BOOM.
She drops 14 songs and 17 videos of pure hotness.
On Friday 13th
On Taylor Swift's birthday
When Lorde drops a surprise single
Shitting all over Gaga's Art Pop embarrassment

It's official.
Beyoncé wins 2013.

Not only that, it's the sexiest goddamn album I've ever heard/seen.
Just listen to Blow and Yonce.
BLEW MY MIND YEAH.



Just look at the lyrics from Blow.
Serious.
Erection alert:

Keep me coming, keep me going
Keep me humming, keep me moaning
Make sure you clean that, it's the only way to get the flavour
Can you eat my skittles, it's the sweetest in the middle
Pink is the flavour
If you're thirsty, I'll give it up

ENJOY:

video


Sunday, 1 December 2013

Shopping: Best Christmas presents. FACT.

Pornaments

Yes. Porn ornaments.
Buy them.
Your tree will thank you for it.
Your grandma will not.
I've gone and bought the entire range. 


For all you Scrooges

This is fast becoming a list of all the Christmassy crap I've bought myself recently.
But who can resist the GREATEST MEME OF THE WHOLE INTERNET PLACE colliding with the GREATEST CHRISTMAS TUNE OF ALL TIME?
Not me. That's for sure.



You will not find a better Christmas card range. FACT.

I wanna high-five the creator.
And then I wanna buy the ENTIRE RANGE. IMMEDIATELY.
There's one that has Santa on the front 'Shut up, slut', and inside: 'This year you get crabs'. GENIUS.
Buy them from etsy: £2.86 





It's all about ME

For the more self-indulgent (ie ME), try Harvey Nicholls Sorry, I spent it on myself range.
Because nothing says 'I love you' quite like tooth picks, rubber bands, and sink plugs.
Buy them here 


Pucker up and kiss my CROTCH, YEAH

Spread the love this Christmas