Friday, 28 March 2014

Interview: What is Orgasmic Meditation?

I went to an orgasmic meditation course the other weekend (review to follow). It was probably the most surreal event I've ever been to. And I've struggled to explain it properly to friends - although it's quite bizarre, it's also very natural. And I've realised, you can't really rationalise or explain something that's so natural. So, instead, I interviewed Maya - a passionate, switched-on, orgasmic meditation tutor.

So, what is Orgasmic Meditation?

Orgasmic Meditation (OM for short) is like yoga for your sex life - a 15-minute practice where a partner strokes a woman's clitoris with precise attention. Instead of reaching for the goal of climax, OM teaches people a new model of orgasm that works for women's bodies. It's process-oriented, feminine, and gives both people a lot of extra energy. Men learn to feel their own sensations as well as her sensations in a way that boosts their confidence undeniably. 

Founder, Nicole Daedone, at an OMing class

What is the *actual* process of OMing?

She undresses from the waist down and butterflies her legs open.
He sits to her right. And sets a timer for 15 minutes.
He puts on latex gloves, and some lube.
With his left forefinger he begins stroking at the 1 o’clock spot in the upper left quadrant of her clitoris.
As lightly as you’d stroke your eyelid.
15 minutes.
She and he relax into the sensation of the stroke.

An Orgasmic Meditation "nest". Image from

Why do people do it?

There are a LOT of reasons why people OM. But some of the main ones are: To understand their relationships and sexuality more, to have more energy, to increase their sensitivity, to learn how to live from their desire

What's in it for men?

Men learn how to feel a woman so intensely that there is never a doubt about what she's feeling. They go from being "the guy who doesn't know what's going on with her" to " the guy who can feel the subtlest shifts in her mood." The experience is, surprisingly, very pleasurable for men. They start to feel a mirrored experience of what she is feeling. They literally feel her Orgasm in their bodies.

What's in it for women?

Most women don't even know what is possible in the realm of orgasm. What we're taught is that if you can climax, or better yet at the same moment as our partners, that is the best it gets. The truth is that the way we've thought about orgasm is a fraction of what is possible. As you practice, you begin to have a visceral sense of filling up a hunger that most women didn't even realize they had. Or, it can take your sex from being good to even better.

What's in it for single people?

OMing for single people is great! We have a huge population of single OMers who practice the meditation with other practitioners they make friends with. It's refreshing to be able to develop your sexuality, communication, and desire even if you don't have a romantic partner. It brings more vibrancy to who you are as a person so every part of your life will be enhanced, from friendships to work.

What's in it for couples?

For couples, OM deepens how much they can feel connected to each other. Almost more importantly than in times of good, OM helps couples stay connected when things get rough. In those times, it's often when couples want least to be connected, but when they need it most. OM gives them a practice to sync into to spend 15 minutes simply feeling.

How did you get into OMing?

I found it randomly, five years ago, from a friend telling me about it in NY. I went to an event and fell in love. The level of honesty and realness that the people had was inspiring, not to mention the glow. Then I tried OM and didn't feel a thing but was determined to open this part of myself up. After even a short while of practice, I had so much more energy and my desire and sex life were getting phenomenal.

What are your plans for Oming and where do you expect it to go?

We've been growing it rapidly over the last decade. Our plan is to hit 6 billion OMers.

For more information, add your question in the comments below. Or watch this great TED talk.


  1. Do you have to only do it for 15 mins? What if you want to carry on?

    1. The practice lasts for 15 minutes only - so that you both know what to expect each time.

  2. If she doesn't reach orgasm I mean. It takes me GF quite a while

    1. The aim isn't really to make her orgasm - at least not at first. If she doesn't reach orgasm try to focus on the setting - is she really comfortable and relaxed? Talk about it to see what's stopping her from really connecting with the practice.

  3. Is it just up and down? You don't basically fiunger her?

    1. Hah, no - definitely not! You stroke the clit very, VERY, slowly lightly, and gently. No rush.

  4. why fifteen? it seems like forever!

  5. Looking forward to reading your review of it


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